Single But Not Alone

Relationship Goals: Single but not Alone

This is the second video in the series Relationship Goals where Pastor Mike Todd talks about the importance of singleness. A lot of people think that being single and being alone are the same thing, but they aren’t! Being single is where you are working on yourself and your relationship with God while solely being responsible for yourself. Singleness may be the most important time of our lives!


Singleness is one of the biggest issue in relationships, well the lack of singleness specifically. We are so eager to get into marriage so we rush into it so haphazardly because they expect the marriage to tell them who they are. 50% of marriages end in divorce. That’s crazy! But one of the biggest reasons why people divorce is because they never took the time to be single so they’re trying to figure out how to be single and married at the same time and it will never work. Pastor Mike then goes on to talk about why divorce is worse than death. With death, you can mourn the loss and then move on . But with divorce, that person is still around. When people divorce, it’s two souls being ripped apart from each other. They then have to deal with seeing their ex and they have to deal with all the pain and the hurt resurfacing. Marriage is a strong covenant that God pushes us not to do unless we know for sure that we are ready.


One important thing in singleness is learning to love yourself. First, love God. Then, love yourself. And after that, love others. Matthew 22 says to love your neighbor as you love yourself. That is equally as important as loving God. But how can you love someone else in a relationship before loving yourself single? A person can never fill the emptiness that you have to be okay with in singleness that God needs to fill.


Our state of singleness is also important to God because that’s when He gives us vision and purpose. He wants us to know who we are without a person. We can reach purpose without being married. We don’t need a person to validate who God has created us to be. Pastor Mike then lays out 4 important points on singleness:

1. It’s more important to be single than married- God created a person before creating marriage. If the foundation isn’t there, the whole relationship will not succeed.

2. Marriage is only as good as your singleness. Who you are is who you bring to the marriage. Marriage doesn’t improve your singleness, it exposes it.

*Self awareness is important to learn in your singleness.

3. It’s okay to be single but it’s not good to be alone. The Hebrew definition of alone is all in one. So, God made Adam and then took a part of him to make Eve because being all in one was not good. Remember, single and alone are not the same!

4. Maximize your singleness- you can perfect what God has placed for you. Let God turn you into who He created you to be.


The results of not spending the proper time single always ends up the same: hurt people hurting people. So, even though I am in a relationship, I am still single. My boyfriend and I have not combined ourselves to become one. Therefore, I still have to continue to let God show me my purpose and identity to ensure that I have found myself single and am ready for marriage in the future.

Related Posts

Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.