The next installment to the Relationship Goals series is talking about marriage and some major keys to make your marriage successful. For this episode, Pastor Mike Todd brings his wife, Pastor Natalie Todd, to help discuss these major keys! They lay out 4 major points that tie into the major keys to a successful marriage. The point of this message wasn’t just for married couples, it is for anyone in any season of life whether you’re single, dating, married, or divorced! Before getting into the points, it’s important to understand that marriage is supposed to be a reflection of God’s relationship with the church. This leads us into our first point:
1. Marriage was never meant to be just between 2 people- God is supposed to be in the middle. There is the man and the woman, but most importantly, God in the middle drawing them closer to each other. God is love.
Understanding your relationship with God prior to getting married is so important because your relationship with God determines how all of your other relationships go! This doesn’t only apply to marriage. This applies to any sort of relationship you can have with another person.
Major Key: God must be the center of your life.
2. Know the difference between what your spouse NEEDS and what they WANT.
Remember, no person can give you identity, purpose, or accept you. Why? Because God has already done these things and no one can make you feel whole like God can.
Pastor Natalie gives 3 things a woman NEEDS:
- Security- a safe place
- Affection- not sex (this can be a result but should not be motivation) but loving gestures
- Communication- women want men to empathize and relate
Then Pastor Mike gives 3 things a man NEEDS:
- Honor and Respect- hold him high in regard and give him praise
- Support- he will need help
The quality for marriage goes down when these needs aren’t met and that’s when we look for other ways/ people to fulfill these needs.
3. Communication is key
This leads into the next Major Key: love languages. Find out what each other’s love language is! There are 5: words of affirmation, receiving gifts, quality time, acts of service (devotion), and physical touch. Your spouse may have more than one but it’s important to know which they possess.
Communication leads us into another Major Key: speak what you expect. Untold expectations often lead to us being let down because we didn’t lay out for the other person things we expect from the beginning and doing this can get reduce conflict.
4. Never pause the pursuit- even after marriage, never stop pursuing each other.
The destination is not marriage. The destination of marriage is till death do us part. Saying “I Do” is just the starting point. Something very important to always remember is God wants our relationships to win!