Before The Person

Relationship Goals: Before The Person

I have recently started dating a guy who is a worship leader in Texas. The other night, he was leading worship at a convention where the topic of the night was dating, marriage, and sex. My boyfriend told me that he was taking notes and he was learning so much about what the Bible says about relationships. It got me thinking that I should learn the biblical model for relationships as well. I searched on YouTube for a little while to see if anyone had a sermon on the topic. I found this Pastor, Mike Todd, who had a whole series on dating, marriage, and sex. This video is about what God wants for us before he gives us a person.


He starts off by talking about how my generation is more concerned about what the world defines as a relationship rather than focusing on what God says is a good relationship. With this being the first video in the series, Pastor Mike starts it off at the very beginning in Genesis. Relationships start in Genesis. Before there was man, there was the relationship between the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. We all know the story of Creation in chapter 1 where God creates the sky, light, animals, plants, etc and He said they were all good. Then, God creates man and for the first time said, this is not good. He said, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” God created us to have relationships with others. He knew that us being alone in our thoughts was bad because that’s when the enemy comes in and tells us lies. God wants a relationship with us first, and then He wants relationship for us.


God designed an order for relationships to succeed. He wanted these 5 things to be deposited into our lives before He gives us a person:

1. Place– God desires to place us somewhere where He knows purpose can happen in our lives.

2. Purpose– God brings us to a place to reveal purpose.

3. Provision–  He supplies where He calls us to. God makes provision grow.

4. Identity– He made us to be like Him. The enemy is scared for us to know who we are and our purpose. God has given us our identities.

5. Parameters–  God said Adam and Eve could eat from any tree EXCEPT one. He used the word except in the Garden of Eden to them because He loves us. If you don’t have a standard before getting into a relationship, the relationship creates the standard you live by.

God gives us these 5 things before He gives us a person. We think another person can give us these things, but the only person who can is Jesus.


After watching this video, and taking all of these notes, I realized that God had placed this man in my life because He already knew that I had found my identity and purpose in Him. Without knowing it, I had been focusing on those 5 points and praying for this person who God would draw me to and that He would show me this person when He knew I was ready. And that is exactly what happened!

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